What to do if the Lord does not give a child. Having many children and being childless are gifts from God. If God gives children, it means

Families who ask the Lord for a child and cannot conceive for a long time are gradually filled with disappointment and bitterness; the question “Why does not the Lord give children to a woman?” is increasingly heard. How to accept and understand God's providence? Is it possible to find the strength after constant failures to trust Him further? Is there a way out of this situation?

Possible reasons

Why doesn't the Lord give a child to a woman? No one knows the answer for sure, and there is no single correct answer to this complex, dreary question. Everything is in the hands of the Lord and His Will is not ours, therefore all the answers are hidden from Him, but a person should not always search for them furiously.

What to do if God does not give children?

What are the possible causes of infertility in a woman? Without taking into account medical indications, you can make a small list:

1. As a test of faith and patience, some families could not come to terms with the absence of children for a long time, but just when their souls were filled with complete humility before the Lord and acceptance of His will, He sent them a baby.
2. For churching, some women who are diagnosed with infertility seek solutions in the church, thereby saving their and their husband’s souls. There is a lot of evidence of how people who joined the church and became true Orthodox soon became parents.
3. The consequence of abortion - murder (and this is precisely what abortion is) is strictly punished by the Lord and often women are those who have committed the orders of infertility. Children must be accepted when the Lord sends them, and not when a person decides;
4. The consequence of the sinful youth of parents is promiscuity, adultery, and some types of contraception have a detrimental effect on a woman’s reproductive abilities. Such people should first of all repent before the Lord and only then pray to Him for mercy and offspring.

Each case is individual, in any case, a woman (and her husband necessarily) should think about why the Lord does not send them offspring.

Perhaps you need to repent of something, maybe you need to confess a secret sin, or perhaps you need to do your part - get examined by a doctor and solve problems, if any.

The ways of the Lord are mysterious, and sometimes He does not give children of His own, so that the family can serve someone’s abandoned child and adopt him. And for some, the Lord does not allow them to have children because of selfishness and selfishness.

Everyone must find their own answer.

About the birth and raising of children:

The Church and modern methods of combating infertility

Modern technologies allow even women who could not get pregnant for many years to finally become a mother. What does the Church say about the use of these methods?

To begin with, it should be clarified that all medications that help restore the reproductive function of the body are allowed and welcomed by the Church as a safe way to improve health and fulfill the human part. Therefore, the following methods are allowed:

• medical examinations;
• use of hormonal drugs;
• tracking menstrual cycles;
• use of appropriate medications.

But the following were prohibited by the Council of Bishops in 2000:

• surrogacy.

Church opinion on IVF

Why is IVF prohibited? Because this is a gross invasion of the mystery of conception and the accompanying murder of children. The decision of the Council prohibited Orthodox believers from using all types of this procedure.

Eco is performed as follows: superovulation is stimulated, which makes it possible to obtain a large number of eggs, the best ones are selected from them and fertilized with the husband’s seed. The fertilized cells are then placed in a special incubator where they mature so that they can be partly transplanted into the uterus and partly frozen.

Important! There is no guarantee that a miscarriage will not occur, but embryos are always destroyed or killed during the procedure. Therefore, the Church strictly prohibits these procedures.

Answers from priests

Many priests agree on one opinion - that it is necessary to accept God’s providence with humility.

For example, Elder Paisius the Svyatogorets said that God sometimes deliberately delays in order to further fulfill His plan for saving people. This can be seen in many stories in the Bible - Abraham and Sarah, Joachim and Elizabeth, St. Anna, Elizabeth and Zechariah. The birth of children depends on God first of all, but also on man. And it is necessary to do everything possible so that God gives the child, but if He hesitates, there is a reason for this and we must accept it. Peter and Fevronia, as well as making pilgrimage trips to holy places. He says being away from children for long periods of time tests their feelings.

Priest Valery Dukhanin advises not to strive to comprehend all the secrets of Divine care for people. Children are God's gift, given according to His will and Providence. It is necessary to accept them with humility. He gives some examples that show that sometimes God closes a woman’s womb for the benefit of the spouses and one must be able to accept this benefit.

What to do if you can’t give birth to a child? About the talent of childlessness

Friends, good afternoon. What do you think, Who is always with us and never leaves us, not even for a moment? Of course, God. He is with us at all stages of earthly life: from youth to death.

The baby is born, and God is nearby: He rejoices at the baby’s first steps, and later invisibly “accompanies” the child to kindergarten. The boy grew up and began to go to school, and then God does not abandon his child.

He helps us in study, work, in all areas of life and in all good endeavors. And so it is always, God is with each of us, in any weather, at any time of the day, no matter what.

He is invisibly with us: at college, at work and in old age - ALWAYS!

Why do we communicate so little with God, do not consult and do not ask Him for help? What a strange paradox - next to us is the One who is limitless in both wisdom and strength, but we stubbornly refuse to accept Him? God loves each of us immeasurably, and we, blind, persistently search for someone who would sincerely love us.

In order to touch this great Love, you don’t need to look for anything, it is nearby - God loves everyone and is always ready to help in good deeds, you just have to open your heart to Him: through prayer, in words, in service.

MIRACLES AMONG US

Perhaps we are designed in such a way that in every person there is a little of Doubting Thomas. We unconditionally believe our eyes, eagerly await miracles, but stubbornly do not want to see the presence and obvious help of God among us. Take a closer look - we meet all the evidence of His presence every day. We are so used to them that they seem ordinary or mere coincidences to us. But this is only at first glance, you just have to look closely and you will see the presence of the God of life in every person, from birth.

“God gave a child, he will also give for a child”

This famous phrase is angrily criticized on all women's forums. Literally everyone turned against her, poor thing. I don’t know why, but most women take the meaning of this phrase literally, primitively and only from a financial point of view.

“I’m wondering where this idiotic phrase came from? Of course, there is a chance that money will appear, etc., but it is rather minimal. I myself know quite a lot of examples where people who had nothing and who already lived poorly gave birth to children and live even worse for the rest of their lives.”

Elena P, 32 years old

And only those who have actually found themselves in such a serious situation are able to reveal the true meaning of this statement. And they, literally all of them, claim verbatim that with the child God gives: strength, help and opportunities. The main thing is not to live in self-pity, not to be lazy, and most importantly not to miss the chances that the Lord opens for you.

Let's see what moms have to say about it.

“Together with the child, God gives precisely these strengths. It’s just that many people are lazy, go with the flow, or simply feel sorry for themselves. And some also lament that their child does not wear branded items, is ignorant and also thin - he clearly does not have enough food! ...

I teach my child everything from birth! and at the same time we almost saved up for an apartment. Whoever says that a child needs a lot does not have children, or is greedy himself and ate his offspring with caviar, dioramas, nannies in all subjects. So, of course, where can they raise one, but 3-4 are thought of as a nightmare...”

I also really like the words of this wise mother. These words reveal the truth: “When one door closes, God is sure to open another for you.”

“I did not plan the child on the basis of this proverb, but it so happened that I was left pregnant alone and this proverb completely justified itself, in the case when there seems to be no salvation, help comes and it is very tangible. God just gives you the opportunity, and using it for the benefit of your child is your choice. A child is a huge incentive to live on.

Lika, young mother

I see that you are angrily criticizing me, saying that I did something wrong?! It’s not worth it, judge for yourself. This phrase “does not fall” only when, instead of faith, the young mother lives with: despondency, anger, laziness or addictions. Well, what about the children? Looking at them we want to smile, live, work. Children are a great incentive to love and act. What could be better!?

Dear mothers. If your life today is closely connected with this phrase, first stop, think, and don’t rush off the handle.

Away with sadness and despondency. It’s better to gather your spiritual strength, ask God for help and advice. Order a prayer for health for yourself and your children, order a prayer for success in business, or even.

Don't be upset if you don't have time to go to church. Pray at home, and you can also order a prayer service online.

Don’t even doubt it - with faith in your soul, quiet joy will come first, and then opportunities and right decisions will come.

Before you have time to look back, your kids have already grown up, put on a brand new school uniform and set off along a new path of life, to their first school day.

BLESS YOUR DISCIPLES

It's September outside the window - the first month of the new school year. September is the beginning of new knowledge, and with it new difficulties in learning the sciences. We love our children, we want the best for them, we sincerely want our children to grow up to be smart and literate people.

“Poverty and shame to him who rejects the teaching; and whoever keeps the instruction will be honored" (Prov. 13:19)

In the first days of the school year, special prayers are served for teachers and students. If your child, for some reason, did not attend it, then do not worry, you can order a prayer service online for success in studies (businesses) without leaving your home.

Not everyone finds learning easy. For schoolchildren, studying is a great work, therefore, as in any other matter, it turns out differently - it turns out to be a “five” and a “two”. Not all information is remembered quickly and smoothly, and this happens even with diligence.

From the life of Sergius of Radonezh we know that at first he was not given a letter. In adolescence, he began to fervently pray to the Lord and tearfully asked the Lord to admonish him.

- God! Let me learn this literacy, teach me and enlighten me.

The Lord sent the youth an old monk. The boy told the elder about his grief and asked him to pray to the Lord for him. Having finished the prayer, the elder blessed the boy, gave him prosphora and said:

From now on, God will give you, my child, to understand what is necessary, so that you can teach others. Take it, child, and eat it; this is given to you as a sign of God’s grace and for the understanding of Holy Scripture. Do not look at the fact that this particle is so small: your joy will be great if you taste from it.

And indeed, after this incident the boy surpassed his brothers in academic performance.

All children are different and that's normal. Some have a tenacious memory, some have a strong imagination, and some are born philosophers from birth. But every child, and this without exception, has from God his own, individual gift, an inclination towards something. Dear parents, our primary task is to find this “God’s gift”, to support that spark of talent invested in your son or daughter.

Do not doubt that God is always with you and your children. Do not doubt that “God kissed the top of the head” of your child. The Lord puts goodness, conscience, and love into every person, which means he puts a piece of Himself into each of us.

If you have difficulties in upbringing, if you don’t know what to do, then it makes sense to ask advice from the One who knows everything, you should pray to the One who is always there and ready to help us - you need to pray to God.

How else can we help our children? First of all, by surrounding them with your care and love. A child, feeling your love and support, is a hundred times more successful, calmer and healthier than those children who are constantly shouted at, have breakdowns, or are not cared for at all. Learn lessons together, read books to each other, arrange educational excursions and this way we can help our children both physically and mentally.

A healthy atmosphere in the family is no less important for the development of personality. A small child tries to be like his elders in everything. Looking at the behavior of his parents, he eagerly absorbs the foundations of future values, behavior, and remembers the words and actions of his elders. That is why it is so important to show the child that parents love each other, respect their elders, help the younger ones, and also love God and honor His Commandments.

A real person is, first of all, one who is spiritually rich

Help your children grow up spiritually strong. Bless your children, pray for them, give them communion. Remember that the most powerful prayer is. The Lord always hears all the prayers said by children and for children, so do not skimp on them. For this, the Lord will reward you and your children with grace a hundredfold. Children will be healthier, smarter, and most importantly, spiritually stronger and resilient individuals.

Protect yourself and your children with the mighty power of the Holy Church. Go to church for services, receive communion, attend Sunday church schools, pray together and order prayer services for health and success in your studies.

You can and should ask the Lord for help in your studies and for the students themselves

The disciples themselves should also prayerfully ask God, the Mother of God and His Saints for help in teaching.

God always helps every student and does not refuse help to anyone.

Look how Saint John of Kronstadt wrote about this

“Grieving over the failure of the teaching, I fervently prayed to God to give me meaning and reason - and I remember how suddenly a curtain fell from my mind, and I began to understand the teaching well. The more I grew, the better and better I did in the sciences, so that almost from the last I rose to the first students.”

WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TO ASK FOR GOD’S HELP FOR YOUR CHILDREN

God is the source of all life and all grace. He is always near us and never refuses to help us. To receive God's help and blessing, you just need to believe in Him and ask Him for it.

When we were little, our parents took care of us, when we grew up and became mothers and fathers ourselves, then we surround our children with love. But if you really love your child and wish him happiness, then don’t be lazy, ask God for it. He is always there, behind your back, He is just waiting for another chance to help us.

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Do you have children?

This question is asked so often that we should already have developed an immunity to it. But no. Whether you've been trying to conceive for ages or just recently started, the issue of infertility touches the heart of your soul and affects your relationships with many people. When my husband and I were trying to conceive, we were greatly helped emotionally and spiritually by the choices we made about our friends, our identity, our marriage, and our relationship with God.

Friends

It can be painful to spend time with a friend who is surrounded by cooing babies or who is holding a baby to her chest while your arms are empty. One of my friends, who had just had a miscarriage, heard about our friend’s pregnancy, clenched her hands into fists and screamed: “It should have been my baby!” In such a situation, it is easy to begin to envy women who have or will soon have a child, it is easy to begin to feel sorry for themselves, but this is a very, very unattractive and wrong reaction. Personally, I have made several rules for myself regarding this issue:

1. If envy or pity appears, confess it to the Lord.

1. Pray before I find myself in circumstances where I might be overwhelmed by the desperate thought “I want a child,” and ask God to comfort me, support me and help me maintain hope.

1. When in a circle of friends with children, transfer the focus of attention from the children to something else.

1. Limit the time I spend in the society in which my desperate desire to have a child is fueled.

Self-awareness

The problem of infertility can greatly affect your sense of self. Thoughts like “Why doesn’t God give me a child? Maybe I would make a bad parent? Or maybe there’s something wrong with me?” The hope of pregnancy makes you immediately think, even at the slightest symptom: “Finally, I’m pregnant!” So months and years pass, and the never-fading hope of conceiving a child can lead to the fact that a woman begins to feel a little crazy.

In addition to all these thoughts, a heavy feeling of guilt may also appear due to the inability to get pregnant. My heart ached because I considered myself to be to blame for not being able to get pregnant. I remember two women asked me mockingly: “What’s wrong with you? Why can’t you give your husband children?”

In some cases, the reason why a woman cannot get pregnant is a previous abortion or a sexually transmitted disease, and all this only aggravates the feeling of guilt. Past sexual baggage or abuse can also be a cause of infertility. An empty cradle has a strong impact on the psyche. In order to maintain your self-esteem during this difficult period, use a few tips:

1. If you have thoughts about your own feelings of guilt in the matter of infertility, confess them. If you have been blaming yourself for a long time for not being able to get pregnant because you have made some mistakes in the past, ask God for forgiveness, trust that He has forgiven you, and live in His grace. This approach may not solve your physiological problems, but it will give you mental healing and inner peace. And also remember that no one is perfect. We all sin and we all need God's forgiveness and God's grace. If you blame yourself for your infertility, ask God to rid you of these thoughts and replace them with the truth.

1. Talk about this topic with your spouse and pray about it with him or your spiritual director, ministry leader, spiritual counselor to release any old baggage that is causing you to feel guilty about the empty cradle.

1. Base your self-worth on what the Bible says about you. You can paraphrase the verses that talk about who we are in Christ as follows:
   
   I am the salt of the earth (see Matthew 5:13)
   I am the light of the world (see Matthew 5:14)
   I am a child of God (see John 1:12)
   I am a friend of Jesus Christ (see John 15:15)
   Jesus chose me and appointed me to bear fruit (see John 15:16)
   I am a slave of righteousness (see Romans 6:18)
   I am a servant of God (see Romans 6:22)
   I am a daughter of God. God is my spiritual Father (see Romans 8:14; Galatians 3:26, 4:26)
   I am an heir of God and a joint heir with Christ (see Romans 8:17)
   I am the Body of Christ. His Spirit and life dwell in me (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:30)
   I am a new creation (see 2 Corinthians 5:17)
   I made peace with God and He gave me the ministry of reconciliation (see 2 Corinthians 5:18-19)
   I am a daughter of God and I am in Christ (see Galatians 3:26, 28)
   I am an heir of God because I am a daughter of God (Galatians 4:6-7)
   I am a saint (see Ephesians 1:1; 1 Corinthians 1:2; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2)
   I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for me to walk in (Ephesians 2:10).
   I am not a stranger, I am part of God and His family (see Ephesians 2:19)
   I am a prisoner of Jesus Christ (see Ephesians 3:1, 4:1)
   I am righteous and holy (see Ephesians 4:24)
   My citizenship is in heavenly places, I am already seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus (see Philippians 3:20; Ephesians 2:6)
   My life is hidden with Christ in God (see Colossians 3:3)
   I am an expression of the life of Jesus Christ because He is my life (see Colossians 3:4)
   I am chosen by God, I am holy, I am loved by Him (see Colossians 3:12; 1 Thessalonians 1:4)
   I am a daughter of light and day, not night and darkness (see 1 Thessalonians 5:5)
   I am a sharer in the heavenly calling (see Hebrews 3:1)
   I am a partaker of Christ (see Hebrews 3:14)
   I am living stones; a spiritual house is being built from me (see 1 Peter 2:5)
   I am a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy man for his own possession (see 1 Peter 2:9-10)
   I am a stranger in this world where I live temporarily (see 1 Peter 2:11)
   I am the enemy of the devil (see 1 Peter 5:8)
   I am a child of God. I will become like Christ when He returns (see 1 John 5:18)

Marriage

A woman got married, and every month a pregnancy test shows a negative result. This makes it very difficult for her. But disappointment can be replaced by good news. While you are waiting to conceive a child, try this:

1. Think of three activities, which you could devote your time to, and start doing it. For example, my husband and I decided to learn how to manage money better, so we began attending Christian seminars on this topic together.

1. Enjoy life during this period. Go on vacation with your husband and friends, arrange spontaneous romantic evenings or trips - all this would not be so easy if you had children; support each other in achieving goals that you would not be able to achieve if you already had children.

1. Communicate. Talk to each other about your feelings (if you both want to talk about it). Since this is such a deep topic, give your husband time to tune in to this conversation. You could, for example, agree that on such and such a day you will talk about such and such so that your spouse can mentally and emotionally prepare for the conversation.

1. Pray together. Together with your husband, tell God what you feel and what you want, and give your desires to Him. Depending on your situation, consider adoption and pray about it.

Relationship with God

Not having children can affect many aspects of your life, but your relationship with God has an even greater impact on every aspect of your life. If we blame ourselves for not having children, it means we don’t understand what God gives us in life. If we blame ourselves or our spouse and allow disappointment to destroy our marriage, then we have placed ourselves or our husband on the throne of our hearts, and not God, where that place belongs. Your relationship with God will be the solid rock that will help you weather the storm of disappointment that is raging in your life due to not having children. Here are some ideas to help you build a relationship with Him in these circumstances:

1. Be honest with God. Don’t bear your pain yourself, give it to God - His hands are strong enough.

1. Study Bible passages that talk about childless couples. Reflect on how God supported them and what they learned about Him. As I studied these passages, I began to feel hope.

1. Pray for a child. Scripture mentions couples who did not have children and who prayed that they would have children. We have friends who, after years of trying, conceived after asking others to pray for them.

1. Learn to be content. We expect a lot from life, and we will be much better people and parents if we learn to be content in any circumstances that arise in our lives.

1. Be Open to What God is Doing in Your Life. Accept this and ask Him to help you approach these circumstances in accordance with His design for your life.

1. Trust God. He will work everything out for your good (see Romans 8:28). My husband and I discussed what God's purpose might be for not giving us children. We may be right or wrong, but we understand that our lack of children should not be equated with God's lack of purpose for our lives.

Why doesn't God give children?

Recently, there are more and more childless families. Why? Priest Maxim Brusov, rector of the Trinity Cathedral in the city of Yakhroma, Moscow Region, answers this question.

- Father, do you have children?
-Three. Bye. Two boys and a girl.
– Now there are more and more families where they want, but cannot become parents. What advice do you have for them?
– First of all, don’t lose hope. Secondly, don’t sit idly by, take action.
– How to act?
– It is clear that first of all it is necessary to understand the medical aspect of the problem, without forgetting the spiritual side. There can be many reasons for the childlessness of spouses - both medical and moral. It often happens that the reason is a “mistake of youth” - an abortion, which, like a barrier, blocks a woman’s path to motherhood.
In the human body, everything is interconnected: both physical and spiritual health. If a woman who has had an abortion has not yet repented of it, her position in life is unstable and dangerous. According to the psalmist David, children are “an inheritance from the Lord; the reward from Him is the fruit of the womb.” And by getting rid of the child, a woman crosses a certain line.
– So, childlessness is a punishment for abortion?
– The Lord never punishes, we punish ourselves. It is not God who moves away from man, but we who move away from God. The Lord waits very patiently and for a long time for our sincere repentance of sins. Those who can understand this are wise. And those who still haven’t understood are short-sighted.
I know one woman who wanted to get pregnant for many years. But there was a sin behind her. And she decides to take the baby from the orphanage. While they were filling out the documents, this and that, they finally brought the child, they were happy, they were busy. A few months later she found out that she was pregnant. Do you see how wise the Lord is? And he arranged the life of the unfortunate orphan, and thanked the spouses for their good deed.
I think that if a husband or wife is unable to conceive a child, and medical and surgical methods of treating infertility do not help, they need to humbly accept their childlessness as a special arrangement in life. Or you can try to adopt a child, of course, only by mutual consent of both.
– But not everyone can decide to take such a responsible step.
- Of course, not all. And it’s good that not all. Adopted children require heroism, and only very determined people are ready for heroism.
Many men and women are brought to God by this problem - infertility. Again, how can one not be amazed at God’s wisdom? After all, if everything was fine in their families, would they come to church? For what? And in such trouble they often remember God. For the first time in their lives, they begin to think about their lives and come to church.
One day a young parishioner approached me. The son got married, but there have been no children for three years. She asks how she can help her son and daughter-in-law. He suggested that she read the akathist to the Kazan Mother of God for 40 days. At first she was embarrassed - she was a business woman, the chief accountant of a reputable company. But I decided. As she later said, she reduced conversations with her friends to a minimum and did not turn on the TV. I read it for exactly 40 days.
What do you think? Soon she arrived solemn and happy - we are expecting twins! Now they are already three years old - Nikolai and Sergei. You see, this woman did not mope, did not blame God, she began to work... And most importantly, she believed that her work would bring good fruit.
– Father Maxim, but there are families where they don’t want to have a child, but one is born, while others want it, but God doesn’t give it. Why?
– You shouldn’t look at others. You need to live your own life, because you will have to answer to God for your own deeds, and not for those of others. At the same time, it is worth accepting and understanding with all your heart the words of St. John Chrysostom: “whoever has learned to thank God for his illnesses is not far from holiness.”
This does not mean that the doctor or the patient should not make efforts to combat the disease. But when human means are exhausted, the Christian should remember that the power of God is made perfect in human weakness and that in the depths of his suffering he is able to meet Christ, who took upon himself our weaknesses and illnesses.
In any case, you need to treat the situation with trust. Don't bang your head against the wall, but wait. And work hard.
– Father Maxim, I know that in the Trinity Cathedral, where you are rector, there is an amazing icon...
– Do you mean the image of St. Simeon of Athos? By the way, this is a good example of how to work. On the holy Mount Athos in the Hilandar monastery there grows a vine planted in the 12th century by Saint Simeon himself. Surprisingly, it still bears fruit and works wonders. People write to this monastery from all over the world, asking for help with infertility. The monks send those asking three dried grapes and a small branch of vine, plus the rule on how to accept this shrine and pray.
One married couple, our parishioners, received a letter from Athos with this shrine. We did everything as written in the “instructions” and begged our daughter. In gratitude to Saint Simeon, they ordered a large icon of him, that same shrine -
a branch of vine was inserted into the icon. Now people come to us from everywhere to pray at this icon.
– Who else can you pray for the gift of children?
- Of course, righteous Joachim and Anna, parents of the Most Holy Theotokos. They were childless for a very long time, but they trusted in God. Elder Paisius the Svyatogorets calls these saints the most dispassionate married couple. In his book “Family Life” this is what is written: “A thought tells me that Christ would have come to earth earlier if a pure, chaste married couple, like Saints Joachim and Anna, had appeared on earth earlier.” They weren't worried, they weren't nervous, they were waiting.
And the parents of Saint John the Baptist, the prophet Zechariah and Elizabeth, also did not have children until old age. And they didn’t complain either, they believed. They also need to pray. So there are a lot of helpers. The main thing is to accustom yourself to live a full spiritual life.
– But among the believers who go to church and keep fasts, there are childless people. What are they doing wrong?
– I know a man who deliberately refused to start a family only because he loves children very much. Paradox? How to count. This man heads one of the famous orphanages in Khabarovsk. His name is Alexander Gennadievich Petrynin. It's hard to believe, but he has more than 900 godchildren. He prays and worries for each of them.
Aren't these his children? Will he not be responsible for them before God? All his life this man has been serving the Lord through other people’s children. There are few such people capable of true, sacrificial love.
Imagine if he got married and had two or three children. And these abandoned orphans with living parents - what would happen to them? And so they are under supervision. Alexander Gennadievich raises them in the faith, takes them to church, and gives them communion.
Or take, for example, monks. God did not give them children. You can say that. But He placed them in the most important service - prayer. And they pray that God will enlighten our children, that God will give children to those who do not have them. Athonite monks send pieces of vines all over the world so that women will know the joy of motherhood and men will realize themselves as fathers. So God doesn't give children for so many reasons.
– Father Maxim, what would you advise our readers?
– When faced with such a problem as infertility, every Orthodox Christian must rely on the all-good will of God. And remember that the meaning of our life is not limited only to this earthly life. Our earthly life is only a preparation for eternal life. We should not forget that God was pleased to make suffering a means of salvation and purification. It can be effective for anyone who experiences it with humility.
I can also advise you to wait – but actively. Why not, for example, help childless couples at the nearest orphanage? Or a large family? Or the neighbor's restless child? The field for this kind of activity in Russia is huge.
Even if your contribution is small, the Lord sees in the heart. And if He sees the purity and selflessness of your help, He will not remain in debt. God has a lot of everything. And one more thing: remember one thing, the Lord does not make mistakes and is never late. And everything that He does, He does for the good and salvation of man himself.

Natalia SUKHININA

Childless all your life, or your first child appears many years later. But here's the paradox: many women get pregnant out of wedlock. It would seem like an irony of fate? No. There are nuances here that man does not know, but God knows. And he gives people only what is useful to them.

Let's discuss the topic of why God does not give children, give examples of childless couples, and briefly consider the sermons of the holy fathers and priests.

About Saints Joachim and Anna

Within church walls, many married couples ask the priest: “God doesn’t give us children. Why?" Only a perspicacious old man, a holy man, can answer this question clearly. What will an ordinary priest answer? If the priest is the spiritual mentor of a married couple, he knows that the wife did not have an abortion, the husband did not live with other women before meeting his wife, both led and lead a pious lifestyle, he probably only tells the story of Saints Joachim and Anna - parents - only as a consolation Holy Mother of God.

As life says, Joachim and Anna lived together for many years, lived with God, were pious, and But years and decades passed, the couple did not lose hope, they continued to tearfully ask the Lord. But as the Gospel says: “Ask, and it will be given to you,” Saint Anna became pregnant in old age. The couple could not believe the miracle. They thanked God endlessly. A girl was born - Maria. Throughout her childhood she was quiet, inconspicuous, did not communicate with anyone, did not play. Her childish soul was completely occupied with God. When she became older, the Archangel Gabriel came to her with a white lily and announced that she had been chosen by God to become the mother of Jesus Christ.

What is the meaning of this wonderful story? The parents prayed earnestly and asked God for a baby, the Lord sent them the Blessed Virgin.

Of course, if a modern couple has not had children for a very long time and they constantly ask the question: “Why doesn’t God give a child?”, and the fervent prayer of the husband and wife does not stop, then they will receive what they ask for. But this does not mean that the child will necessarily be pure and holy, like the Mother of God. At least it will be a begged child. Who knows, maybe he will connect his life with God and pray for the whole world in the future.

What the priests say

Any woman who wants to give birth to a child can approach the priest with the question: “Why doesn’t God give children?” A sermon, just advice or instruction will help you figure it out. But the most important thing is the will of God.

Miracles are often performed according to the faith of childless spouses: parents literally “bring” their child back from a pilgrimage trip, after long standing in line to see the relics and icon of St. Matronushka. But everyone's fate is different. The main thing is not to despair.

Orphans

There are a lot of children in Russia left without father and mother. All existing orphanages are overcrowded. Unfortunately, kids do not live in ideal conditions. Few people are lucky enough to find themselves in a monastery shelter, where the attitude, education, and quality of life are very different from state institutions.

Can you guess why God sometimes doesn’t give children to a woman? Because he wants her to raise the orphan as her child, to become his own mother. After all, abandoned children also need parents, attention, and good upbringing.

If God never sent you children, think: isn’t it time for you to adopt children? Unfortunately, this procedure is not easy and is not available to everyone. You need to collect a lot of information, including a certificate of income from work.

Any difficulties are rewarded with victory. Pray to God, the Mother of God and your beloved saints that everything will work out for the best. There are many stories related to childless families, when God miraculously sends a child or several children at once.

About health and education

Does your health allow you to carry and give birth? Often the Lord protects women from trouble, death or mistake. Which one? For example, a woman becomes pregnant. Then it turned out that she was strictly forbidden to give birth, even to bear a child. Both mother and child may die. Such cases exist in church life.

But there are also happy stories. You can tell about one priest’s family. The priest's wife is a very short woman (about 1 meter). As you know, short women are prohibited from giving birth, since the fetus will have no room to develop, and the mother’s internal organs will be compressed. What happened to the little mother? Together with their husband, they began to fervently pray to God so that a healthy baby would be born and the mother would survive. And so it happened, fortunately. The doctors were shocked. By the way, after a while the couple decided to have a second child.

As for another problem - education, this also has its own nuances. Can you raise a worthy person? Can you cope with difficulties? What kind of upbringing did you have? Maybe you need to fix something in yourself.

Let's talk about why God gives sick children. There are many options here, everyone's fate is different. There is one story related to a dying boy. The mother sat near her son’s crib and cried bitterly. She began to fervently pray to God so that her son would survive. Suddenly she fell asleep and had a dream: her son grew up, did terrible things and was hanged. The Lord, through the angels, asked the suffering mother what she was choosing: heaven for her little son, who was dying, or hanging in shame in 20 years? The woman, unfortunately, chose the second. Everything came true. Her son was hanged as punishment for his crimes.

True, this story does not apply to yet, but it clearly describes the possible reasons why God does not give children at all. He wants to protect godly Christian spouses from sorrow. You can answer why God does not give a second child: for almost all the same reasons:

• poor parental health;
• avoiding trouble and sorrow;
• there is a risk of not being able to cope with both babies;
• poverty.

You need to be able to accept what God gives, and to be grateful for what God does not give. Remember the proverb: “Beware of your wishes - they tend to come true.” Why should we be afraid of them? Because they can be harmful.

I'm not married, but I want a baby!

Often priests hear strange words from women who are already slightly or well over thirty: “Father, age is running out, and I’m still alone. Bless me to give birth to a child from someone for myself.” Such a lady, unfortunately, does not know that the Lord does not want it when But nevertheless, they are born and even more often than in married couples. Here we can only answer that illegitimate mothers punished themselves.

This happens very often. Spouses ask: “Why doesn’t God give me a child?”, and unmarried women cry: “The Lord sent me a sick, disobedient person as punishment.” What can a parish priest do? Of course, talk to everyone in confession to try to understand what’s going on.

Why get married?

Wedding is a great sacrament; the Lord sanctifies marriage. The priest reads prayers, one of them relates to the birth of children.

Why doesn't God give a child to some spouses? Because they did not make a vow before God to be together always, they did not pray with the priest, and the Lord did not bless the marriage.

Are you sinful?

Often during confession it turns out that once upon a time one woman had several partners, became infected from one of them and cannot give birth, and another had an abortion. That is why God does not give children - sins, and very terrible ones. In order for spouses to have children, they need to live with God, with a clear conscience, pray and believe.